redeem the time. redeem

I do believe I'mma stop using this. get a blogspot blog. I'll keep the account to check on the friendslist, which is pretty schway. but I think I'mma relocate myself. not that I update much anyway. who the shite knows?

oh, and I took this IQ test and got 120. so that was interesting. I mean I usually bomb IQ tests because I am so unfathomably bad at maths it's untrue. I don't hold much value in IQ anyway, but it did tell me this:

You are gifted with the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. Insightful linguists can take complex concepts and articulate them to just about anyone. You have a gift with words and an insight into processes and the way people think.

These talents enable you to explain things clearly to people as you can conceptualise ideas internally and understand patterns on an abstract level.

the category is Linguist (and I swear the picture is a profile of nietzsche!!) so that fits. and the summary is pretty fucking spot on. so good job, internets!

I dunno. don't really have anything to report. no one's online at the moment so I'm bored as fuck. I'm bored a lot these days, feelin' isolated. fuck, aren't I always? christ I sound like a motherfucking emo fuckface. kill me, kill me now.

uni's goin' well. got exams soon. blech. also got a group presentation on american beauty, that should be fun.

scrubs is great.

I dunno, stuff.

friends drift away, seemingly.

music offers scant companionship.

nothing's fun anymore.

oh, I wrote this for my friend. it was her birthday today...

Hafsa

If I could speak for a minute
or two; I couldn't cover half
the beauty. An hour seems
longer, true, but it too is
insufficient for me.
No, I would need a thousand
days and nights: weekday,
weekend, consumed on sight.
Writing in darkness by
candlelight, never stopping
for pain, serious or slight,
so that one day I might
tell all of the world "Yes,
this poem is about a girl!"

Her lips curl with a knowing
smirk, hair flows gold
and brown over caramel
skin softer than silk -
there are simply none of
her ilk. Her eyes gleam
depthless
promise
eternal
hope
and milk chocolate.
That delightful Lima-strut
is so elegant, so intelligent.

Refined, refine, she is
Meta-Divine.

Words could fail me,
I could stutter, but
there's not a syllable
I need to utter.
Just take one look
and you will mutter
"what a smile, and lips,
such big brown eyes!"
Yes, you my friends will
too realise, that she is
simply beauty personified.

[link]

I stopped updating my lj because I realised the majority of you just didn't care. this update is born out of my boredom, I'm aware it'll be largely passed over but I'm beyond giving a shite.

that's not a cry for attention or a snipe at any of you personally, tis just the way things are.

It's five-fifty-eight and
I'm, not feelin' great I'm,
feelin' faint I hope you're,
worth the wait I hope you're,
worth the pain but I think
I'm, the one to blame and,
things just ain't the same,
no they ain't the same I'm,
so sick of this game,
sick of this game,
sick of your name
it's all I hear,
let's be crystal-clear I,
don't wanna be here don't,
wanna be here just, wanna
be near your, angel face, your
sunshine eyes, those, depthless
eyes, that, crescent smile, please
stay a while, please, make me smile
like I, see you smile, I, see you smile I
see you there with your, flowing hair and that,
satin dress I'm, such a mess I, must confess I,
love you I, love you I, love you.

---

I should be asleep.

[12 photos in all]

really 6 and 6, as the first half is from friday and the second is from sunday. I prefer the second; better light and probably the best pic of me in like years. but eh.

music: chino xl is god. "chaiyya chaiyya" is an awesome song, seriously awesome - tho I think this is the remix. control denied are sweet.

movies: the godfather is still the benchmark for cinematic completion. inside man ain't too bad either.

life: frustrating. feel drifting as always. and damn wimmins. also stupid arsenal may win the CL, I hope not, come on barca!! be so gratifying for me if they won it - I suffered the years of dani and luis garcia!!

still pissed about the essay extension shenanegans last week, and the mad screwjob of technology. first it was the laptop, then the tv, now it's the internet!! I mean come on, you'd think I killed someone.

[24 photos in all]

went to a hat party on the 29th march, was awesome. photos are on the comp but there's waaaaaaaay too many to upload. if y'wanna see I figure you'll hit me up on msn and whatnot. anyway, that was ace.

bunch of great football today. mainly us whupping the cheating arsenal fuckers today.

I dunno, I need to start this motherfuckering essay. grrr.

FM is more addictive than, well, anything.

enjoy the photos.

I want to open up my veins
and let it all pour out: I love
you I love you I love you I
love you I love you, beyond
all reasonable doubt. And now
without rhyme or reason this
Infernal Season never ceases
to cease or provide me with
peace or release or release
or release I Am Trapped.

comments welcome: [LINK]

[49 photos in all]

...I've been here for years

yeah, I'm back. ish. mostly just been playing on FM, which reduces my desire to do anything other than play on FM and occasionally write. anyone not named emma, dave, marc, marm or alteh notice the absence?

my life seems trapped at the moment, almost as if I'm just sorta drifting from side to side through a very linear narrative. I'm the recurring scene stealer. joe pesci in goodfellas, but I just feel like I have no narrative agency. or very little, anyway. it doesn't help that I'm listening to a lot of tori amos lately.

the snow, well, the snow was insane. I loved it. it's all melted now, which I suppose was the motivation to get these photos up. there's another batch, project xcore, which will be up soon - depends what the reaction to this is.

I have a great idea for a screenplay, got the idea after reading an article on the beeb about how they may use custody laws to police the movement of pregnant women (to prevent interstate abortion commuting) - which is about as fucked up and patriarchal as you can get.

I think this is enough for now. oh, and because she asked for it, here's some out-of-proportion emodrama for alteh: OMG, I AM SO ALONE, TEH GRRRLZ DON'T LIKE ME :( *cuts wrists*

yup, I'm really mature.

[36 photos in all]

so on saturday, I went to see emma.

it was great.

since then life has been poo, but that's another entry for another day.

a good time was had, despite the godawful weather.

I scared one of her lecturer-folk :D

the subway is not as good as the underground :(

emma is an awesome friend, I loves her.

that be all. ENJOY LE PHOTOS.

[30 photos in all]

this are from the 31st jan/1st feb.

uni goes well, listening to lectures on tape ain't that bad. peter baumann is a legend. also, I just pwned my first philosophy tutorial, ahhhh. new hollywood is pure fucking sex. I mean come on, when the second lecture on the course focuses almost entirely on and has clips from the godfather, the conversation and practically the entire helicoptor beach attack from apocalypse-motherfucking-now you know you're onto a winner.

gonna go see munich tomorrow.

haaaaaaaazel (sucks :( meh)

I'm sure people fancy me, SOMEWHERE. I just don't think it's anywhere local. goshdammit.

I think if nick griffin got off then so should abu hamza (to be honest they should both get chucked behind bars, preferrably as cellmates, but yeah).

been playin' FM2006 a lot lately. so much fun. I <3 that game.

chino xl pwns. I mean, seriously.

goin' to see emma on saturday, huzzah!

and that's the end of that chapter!

[32 photos in all]

today, I changed

physically

only a bit

maybe

hazel

hrmmm

hope you like the photos

......